The last time I posted on the blog was 7 months ago. I had high expectations of myself when opened this account. I was going to write at least once a week. Turns out, coming up with something to write about is harder than it sounds and the every week thing? Get outta here.

I’ve always thought of myself as a quitter. I quit soccer, I quit piano lessons, I quit volleyball, I quit high school. I barely made it through the first month of college before I (you guessed it) quit. Commitment never felt like my strong suit. Now, as my responsibilities accumulate, I have a deep seated fear inside my body…I’m not afraid things won’t work out, I’m scared I’ll quit. I fear that I will be the reason they fail. Why? Because I’ve told myself that’s all I am for so long I have a hard time not believing it now.

I assume that these days if you looked at my life you’d say “she’s got it together”. You can see my growing business, my two beautiful children, a nice car and cute apartment downtown, my handsome boyfriend and maybe a bomb ass vacation once a year.

However, there was a point in my life (not that long ago) when I didn’t smile for pictures. I didn’t have a reliable vehicle, decent furniture, or a doting partner. My business was non existent and I was so stuck on staying in my shitty situation because I refused to be a “quitter”. Until one day I couldn’t take it anymore and I broke. I let myself walk away. I stopped trying to make everyone else happy and started focusing on myself.

I cleared the negative people out and started dreaming again. I set goals and for the first time in my life felt the freedom to achieve whatever I set out to do.

You see, I never wanted to play soccer, I wanted to dance. I wanted to play guitar, not piano. Volleyball sucked but it was all my school had for girls. I longed for a track team. I hated high school. I wasn’t ready for college. I wasn’t ready for marriage at 23 either. No wonder I quit. I didn’t want to do them in the first place.

Life is full of things you won’t want to do, but you’ll have to do. Remember my grandma’s words, “If you have to do it that’s all there is to it.” Life always gives you a choice, though. We’re faced with them every day. Do you want to sleep in or get up early? Comfy clothes or are you dressing like a boss today? Can you do both? Figure it out. Find your style. What if every decision we make is another step in discovering our authentic self. You can open your eyes or keep them closed. You get to decide.

Everything I have, everything I’m doing— I chose. I do it for my kids, and I do it for myself. I’m hard headed and competitive. I thrive in this newfound freedom. In fact, tell me I can’t do something and I guarantee I’ll figure out a way to do it.

I didn’t know where I was going with this post but I like where it went. Next time I feel that quitter mentality creeping in, I’ll remember this. I ain’t no quitter. I’m a self starting, entrepreneurial, boss bitch.

There are times when walking away is the best thing you’ll ever do. It’s not failure, it’s changing your direction and moving forward. Like it or not, the clock keeps ticking. So are you going to go for what you want or stay where you are? Trust me, the more scary things you do the more empowered you will feel.

Before you walk away, though, hear me out. Ask yourself— Who am I doing this for? Does it bring me joy? Have I done my best? What’s the end goal? Is it going to be worth it in the end?

Make good decisions, friends. I’ll try to do the same.